Imma Get Your Heart Racing In My Skin Tight Jeans
by Pyrofrickenmaniac
Summary: Klaine! Boyfriends Kurt and Blaine share a dorm at Dalton. Today is Saturday and Kurt wants to go out with Mercedes, but he's just having some problems with his pants... Wardrobe malfunction! Mostly fluff. Slash One-shot


**I love Klaine! That is my only plea to the coming insanity! I suppose they do get a bit OOC, but this is just for fun and I wanted them to have almost a "married couple" relationship though they are still just boyfriends in Dalton Academy! Fluffy, and bit cracky. **

**In my universe, the Dalton Academy have two beds and small bath for each dorm room. Blaine and Kurt obviously shared one now.**

**Enjoy and please review! c;**

* * *

"Blaine! Help!" Kurt wailed from the bathroom of their shared dorm at Dalton Academy.

"Kurt? What's wrong?" He rushed in to see his boyfriend fully dressed except for his favorite (and Blaine's favorite) white skinny jeans half pulled up. "Um? Whats up?"

"I can't fit into my jeans."

"Oh great, don't tell me I got you pregnant," Blaine teased.

"Well, this is mainly your fault."

Before Blaine could even ask how it was his fault, Kurt continued, "You took me out to that bar and then to that other place with those sodium-filled hotdogs."

"Sorry for taking you out on a date. I still don't understand how you can't fit into your jeans though."

Kurt put his hands on his brief-clad hips. "See these jeans," he said pointing at the white denim now pooled around his ankles. "These are double bleached skinny jeans. Jeans! Not jeggings! Mercedes tailored these to fit _only_ me! If these things were any tighter, I'd constantly lose circulation to my legs, feet, and dick. If I drop a pencil, it's staying there! It's an effort just to sit in seats!"

Blaine blinked. "Why do you go through such torture?"

Kurt smiled. "Because you love them."

"Ah, I see your point."

"So my stomach is bloated and so are my thighs."

Blaine pursed his lips then said, "Okay Kurt, if you're actually a girl, please tell me now."

Kurt punched Blaine in the arm.

"Ow! Are you PMS-ing too?"

"Anyways, you're bloated too, I saw that you were last night," he said briefly remembered the beautiful man that was Blaine who had made love with him last night. "But you're more muscular than me and you drank water. I only had 2 beers."

"Almost got us caught with your crappy fake ID-"

"That is besides the point! The task at hand is that I'm meeting Mercedes in 45 minutes and can't get my jeans on!"

"Wear different jeans," Blaine said simply.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "The only other pair of clean pants I have right now are my Dalton slacks and they do not go with this," he said gesturing as his tight graffiti tee.

"Can you stretch them a bit? Some squat thrusts?" Blaine offered. Kurt opened his mouth to yell at him then Blaine noticed his mistake. "Right, tailored to you. Got it." He circled Kurt, unsure of what to do. "My best advice is to take a leak first so we don't have to do this again."

"Right." Kurt pulled his member out of his briefs and peed while Blaine thought about what he could do for his distraught lover. Blaine leaned against the wall, amused of how comfortable they were with each others bodies since they were in a serious relationship.

"Want me to try to help you into them by-"

"Shut up Blaine, you know not to talk to a man when he's peeing," Kurt grumbled, eyes half shut as he concentrated and tried to think of another plan simultaneously.

Blaine stared at Kurt's dick just to annoy him, breaking one of the sacred rules of men's bathrooms. "At least I know you're a man. You can't make 9 inches of that out of plastic."

Kurt smirked and returned to his original position, tucking his limp member back into his briefs. "Alright, try pulling them up."

Blaine stood behind him and kissed Kurt's neck. "At least you know how much I love you if I can do this without laughing...much."

Kurt pulled up the pants as far as he could, the denim stopping just below his square hips. "Okay, one, two," Kurt counted down, bracing himself. On the unsaid "three" Blaine hefted Kurt up by the sides of his pants, accidentally lifting the thinner boy 3 inches off the ground.

"God dammit!" Kurt shouted as Blaine dropped him in surprise back onto his feet. Kurt bent over in pain, grabbing his throbbing crotch. He was forced to push down the pants a bit to massage his burning manhood while grounding out, "Ow, my nads." He breathed in and out as the pain subsided, not mad at Blaine. "We are _not_ doing that again. Repeat, _never_ trying that again. I swear you got _thisclose_ to ripping a vagina into me. Stupid inner seam." Kurt straightened again after a few moments. "Hm, I haven't gotten a 'wedgie' since 6th grade. Never imagined I'd be getting one from you."

"Sorry love," Blaine apologized. "I have a better idea though." He walked back into their dorm and grabbed a tube from the side table drawer.

Kurt looked from the tube to Blaine a few times. "Lube? Now Blaine, seriously, we're kinda in the middle of something currently."

"No, no, I don't mean that...I can wait till tonight, but I was thinking if we tried putting come on your thighs? If it's thin enough, hopefully it won't make the fabric sticky."

Kurt bit his lower lip then shrugged. "Why not, lets give it a shot."

Blaine rubbed some of the lube on his fingers then took his time thinly spreading it on Kurt's inner thighs and lap, kissing him every few seconds. Kurt smirked and let himself be taken care of. When Blaine was done Kurt quickly pulled the pants up again, twisting into the shape of them. Once they were pretty much on, the ran to the bed and flopped backwards on it, sucking in his stomach and being able to button them easily.

Kurt stood up again, satisfied and stared into his coveted full-length mirror.

"I can't believe we took 7 minutes out of our day to help you put pants on... but damn, you were right. You look really hot in them," Blaine complemented, his eyes glued to Kurt's butt that was sheathed in the tight white denim. Though what was even more delectable was the way the extremely fitted pants fell over his crotch. Since Kurt was oddly "large" for his height, his package seemed to strain against the fabric insanely provocatively. The great part though was that if you weren't looking, the white concealed it so it looked like regular non-seductive pants.

"I love those jeans," Blaine sighed. Kurt walked away from him, smacking Blaine on the butt as he did so. Blaine responded by grabbing Kurt in his arms and trailing more kisses down his neck and rubbing his hands up and down on his sides.

Kurt gently pushed Blaine away as he reached for gray short-brimmed fedora.

"Believe me, sweetheart," Kurt said to Blaine. "After all this, all I really want to do is rip them off and take you right now, but if I pop a boner in these, well then we're back to square one."

* * *

Blaine's cell phone rang and he "Muted" the rerun of Gossip Girls that he was watching.

"Hey Kurt, what's up?"

"_Um, Blaine."_

"What?"

"_I-uh, you're gonna kill me._"

"What? What's wrong?"

"_I had to go to the bathroom and took off my pants...and I can't get them on again. I'm stuck in the men's bathroom."_

Blaine sighed, pulling on his spring jacket.

What he did for the one he loved.


End file.
